40 weeks 5 days

Its 6 am on a Sunday morning and I am officially 5 days past my due date. Which is very typical from what I hear for first time pregnancies but that comes as no comfort at all. As you all know I started my maternity leave 5 days ago and I am so glad I did because I have spent the last 4 days with a horrible cold. I literally didn't even leave my house or get out of my pajamas for 3 days.

Being sick really made me glad that I didn't have the baby yet, but now that I feel human again, all I want is to go into labor. A small part of me is still holding out that I will go into labor on my own but I am pretty sure that the only way this baby is coming out is if I get induced. Friends and family keep telling me there is no way to know that I will have to be induced (and I hope they are right) but its just a gut feeling. I really don't want to be induced because its just so much harder than laboring naturally and it significantly increases your chances of a c-section which is my biggest fear. I hope my pessimistic attitude is just due to impatience, and that this baby will prove me wrong!

I have family in town right now and more coming in this week to meet the baby and I am so worried that I won't even have the baby by the time my out of state family leaves. I hoping that at my doctors appointment on Tuesday that we can set a date for induction for later this week, but my doctor might just make me wait until January 31st when I reach 42 weeks before she will induce me. I really hope that doesn't happen for my own selfish reasons and also because I want my family to meet the little guy so badly.  It would break their hearts and mine to have traveled  all this way not to even meet the little man.

Here is to hoping that my instincts are wrong, and that labor will start naturally and soon! OK my venting is done.

Yes I am still pregnant

Yesterday was the due date and we still have no baby and surprisingly I am OK with that. If you had asked me two days ago how I felt about it I would have given you a completely different answer but today I am alright with still being pregnant. The little man is still comfortable in there for now, but if nothing has changed by my appointment next week the doctor will start discussing and induction.

I don't know if it is the fact that I could be induced next week that has put my mind at ease or if its the fact that yesterday was my last day at work. As I have mentioned many times here before work has been one of the biggest stresses for me through out my pregnancy. I love my job but man doing my job pregnant is 10 times harder than it was before pregnancy. I think every pregnant woman deserves a damn medal, I mean seriously being pregnant is the hardest thing that I have ever done let alone working through the entire pregnancy.

I have gotten really mixed opinions about when to start my maternity leave. Until last week I had planned on working until I went into labor, but over the weekend I changed my mind. A few weeks ago I cut my hours back to part time which was amazing for a few weeks but I think I have reached the end of my rope and it was time for me to start my maternity leave.

I might regret this decision later when I have a week less with the baby but I really feel like this was the best route for me (plus Ted is thrilled, its a week sooner that he gets to cut back to part time). I feel so much more relaxed and OK with still being pregnant than I did knowing I had to go to work one more day. I had to give myself a pep talk every morning to convince myself that I could make it through the day. That's just not how I wanted to spend my last few days before my son arrives.

I am going to spend my last few days before the baby arrives, relaxing, cleaning and enjoying the last few days of silence that I will ever have!

Just one more day?

Here I am January 16th, the day before my son's due date and still very pregnant. Every one I talked to thought that I would go early because my belly is so big (never say that to a pregnant lady by the way), but nope here I am almost to my due date. I am honestly at the point where I feel like I am going to have to be induced because NOTHING is happening on its own.

My ten year old sister Jett was guessing that the baby's birthday would be January 20th, the same as hers, and now I am thinking she was the closest all along. This little guy is in there for the long run, he is just super comfortable.

Maybe I am wrong but I am guessing its going to be at least another week possibly two until my Dr will induce me and that's when this little dude will arrive! Trying to hold on to that last little bit of patience that must be within me somewhere.

Giving In

I have come to the realization that this little man is going to make his appearance whenever he is ready and I need to be patient. From my last post you all know that I am not patient at all, so this is becoming increasingly difficult every day. But I am surrendering to the baby...

I have accepted the fact that this little man is not going to show up a single day earlier than he is ready no matter how much spicy food I eat or squats I do. The more I think about it the more I realize I don't want him to come until he is ready. He is staying in for a reason and I need to let him cook until he is ready. After all the most important thing to me is that our son comes out healthy, so I am going to let him and the doctors decide when the best time is.

The next several days or weeks until this little one arrives will consist of cuddle time with my husband and as much relaxation time as I can squeeze in. Once the baby arrives I know Ted and I won't have the time to just relax and enjoy each others company the way that we have been able to, so I want to enjoy that as much as possible before we officially become parents. We are ready for the little man to make his much anticipated appearance anytime now, but until then I am just going to relax and let things happen.