Mothers Day

So Mothers Day is just a few short days and I can't believe it was a year ago that I found out I was pregnant! I am in awe if how much different my life is now than one year ago. The day I found out I was pregnant was one of the most exciting and down right scary days of my life.

Of course I knew it was possible that I was pregnant but honestly I didn't think I would get pregnant as quickly as I did. Ted convinced me on a Tuesday morning that I should take a test since I was already a few days late. I agreed to take the test more to prove to him that I wasn't pregnant than anything else.

When the test showed positive my stomach dropped and I screamed for Ted! He came rushing down stairs to see the what all the commotion was about. I immediately made him read the test again just to make sure I read it properly. Sure enough I was preggers! Ted and I cried and laughed and hugged eachother when we realized that we should have a doctor confirm this before we got too excited.

After a nice lunch date we went to the doctor and she confirmed what we already knew.... We were having a baby! Now most people try to wait a while before sharing the news but if you know me you know I can't keep a secret especially one like this. I immediately called my family and Ted called his!! We were literally on the phone all afternoon telling all our friends and family ,sharing our wonderful news!

I remember that day like it was yesterday! He was only the size of a sesame seed the day we learned we were expecting and now he is almost 13 pounds of pure cuteness. The joy my son has brought to my life is indescribable, he makes the little things more fun and the big things more manageable. Becoming a mother is the single most important thing I have ever done. Elliot has already given me the best mothers day gift ever ... The gift of being his mother!

working mom

 I recently watched  a new movie with Sarah Jessica Parker called "How Does She Do It" where she plays a high powered business woman and mother of two, and it hit me that in 3 short days I will become a working mother!!! And the very idea of that scares the crap out of me.

Elliot and I have a great routine going and we are going to mess that all up so that I can go to work. We will have to change his schedule to fit within mine now.  He and I will no longer be able to sleep in, no more showering at noon for the day, no more leisurely afternoon walks together. His schedule will have to be a bit more rigid in order to accommodate my new work schedule.

I never pictured myself as a stay at home mom, even when I was pregnant I always knew that I would go back to work, but I just never knew how fun it would be staying at home. I enjoy spending the day reading Dr. Seuss books and singing twinkle twinkle little star, (Elliot never judges my singing voice), I like cooking for my husband and cleaning up around the house when Elliot naps.  Its strange to me how rewarding staying at home has been because I never expected to feel this way.

The last three months have been the hardest yet most rewarding in my entire life,going back to work is opening a new chapter in my life. I will now be a working mom, juggling mommy hood and my career. I know that time will make this transition more bearable, and that at the end of every day my son will be waiting at home with a sweet smile for me!

Newborn Phase is Over

The newborn phase is over and now Elliot is beginning to develop a personality, and it is so fun! He is no longer happy to be in the corner sleeping in his swing, or just napping on mommy's shoulder,  he wants to be apart of the action. He prefers to be sitting up (with assistance of course) on some ones knee facing the action! He does not hesitate to make make his needs known, he will fuss or cry now until he gets exactly what he wants.

Meal times in the Holleran household consist of Elliot usually crying in the background while Ted and I try to enjoy our meal. Unfortunately once the screaming starts we start scarfing our food down so that we can get to the baby sooner, so it usually only lasts about 10 minutes on a good day. I can't wait until we can put Elliot in his high chair so he can join us at dinner time rather than crying in the background. Then the moment we put our plates down and walk towards him the crying stops because he knows that he is once again the center of attention!

As a newborn Elliot would frequently fall asleep in our arms or in his crib between feedings, but now he loves play time!!! He loves to sit up with mommy and daddy's help and look around the room, he has even started noticing the TV (not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing). The best part about play time is when we lock eyes and he gets a huge smile on his face, his smile just melts my heart! When he is on his play mat he often looks like is he trying to run in place or doing some baby kick boxing, he just doesn't stop wiggling and its adorable.

Conversations in our house are much different than they were even a few weeks ago. Many of them now include Elliot chiming in with little coos. Sometimes they are soft, sometimes they are loud and sometimes they more closely resemble grunting, but either way they make our conversations much more interesting!

Now that Elliot is becoming more interactive, of course I have to prepare myself to head back to work in a couple of weeks. I know the moment I leave the house I will be counting down the hours until I can get home and see Elliot's sweet smile.

 I mean really doesn't that smile just make your day???

Going back to work

In just over two weeks I will have to venture back to work and the very idea nearly brings me to tears just thinking about it. While Ted is counting down the days until he gets to stay home with Elliot I am dreading what is to come. Even though I know he will be staying home with his dad the very though of being away from Elliot for 10 hours breaks my heart into pieces.
Ted has been great about giving me time out by myself for a few hours whenever I need it so it's not like I have never left him but I have never been away from him for more than three hours. This week I am going to practice leaving him for a few hours longer just so I can get used to the feeling.
I know that I have to work to support our family but honestly I was really hoping that I would win the mega millions so that Ted, Elliot and I could all spend more time together!

Growing, growing, growing!

Little Elliot is already 7 weeks old, I can't believe it. We took him to the doctor last week for his well baby check and he already weighed 10 lbs 10 oz. But that was almost a week ago so I am guessing he is a few ounces heavier now! Our once sleepy little new born is now starting to spend more time awake and more time interacting with us.

We have learned that while Elliot is awake he prefers to be facing out towards the action rather than having his face snuggled up to my chest like he used to. He loves his little play mat and especially loves his stuffed turkey that we have named giblets! When he is on his play mat he just kicks his legs and moves his arms all around making all kinds of funny sounds, it has become my favorite time of day when Ted, Elliot and myself all lay on the floor for play time!

Elliot can hold his head up for a little while on his own, his neck muscles still aren't strong enough to keep his head up for long periods of time so he kind of looks drunks when his head starts to wobble. We just put him in his bumbo chair for the first time the other day and its adorable, and a good safe place for him to get some practice sitting up. He increasingly likes sitting when being held as opposed to being cradled.

Every day Elliot becomes a little more interactive and a little bit more fun! Motherhood has slowly started to feel normal to me and I have started to wonder how I occupied my time before I became a mother, it couldn't have been nearly as much fun as what I am doing now.

 

Here is the little monster at 4 weeks old!

Sleeping

Three nights ago we moved Elliot into his own room at night and so far so good. In fact he has never slept better, he has started to go to bed around 11pm rather than keeping Ted or myself up  until 1am or later. He has been sleeping for longer stretches, only waking up 1 time between 11pm and 8am. He seems happy to be in his own room. He has even been less fussy in the evenings, which could be because he is getting older or it could be that we are bringing him up to his room sooner to go to bed. Who knows, but we are loving it!

It was kind of a  hard adjustment for me the first night because I was so worried that I wouldn't hear him if he wasn't in his cradle in our room. But with the monitor on full blast and both bedroom doors open it hasn't been an issue. I tend to wake up just by instinct around the time that he wants to eat anyway even before he starts crying and that hasn't changed with him in a separate room.

I think it was a good decision to move our little man into his own room, it seems early by some standards but honestly our whole family is sleeping better. OK our little dog Gulliver might not be sleeping as well but that's just because he worries about the baby when  he isn't nearby, its really very sweet.

Adventures in Breastfeeding

When I was pregnant I always knew that I wanted to breastfeed due to the countless benefits for both me and Elliot. Breast milk is the most complete nutrition for infants, it is easier for them to digest than formula, as long as your milk supply is strong you never have to measure or worry if they are getting enough. It decreases healing time after delivery, burns 500-1000 calories a day to help lose the baby weight, and allows for extra snuggling time for mom and baby!! It was an obvious decision for me but I didn't realize how hard breast feeding would be.

As women are bodies are designed to breastfeed so I just assumed that breastfeeding would come naturally to both me and Elliot, this has not been the case. Breastfeeding has been quite a challenge for me, but it is still something I am determined to stick to until Elliot is at least 6 months old.

Since I had a c-section I was in the hospital for 3 days after delivery which gave me lots of time to practice nursing. Elliot refused to latch on from the very beginning, he just became so easily frustrated as soon as I would bring him to my breast thus not getting the nutrition he needed. In the first few days after delivery, all that a woman's body produces is colostrum (a thick substance rich in vitamins)  until her milk comes in several days after delivery. Since Elliot wouldn't latch on I had to use a pump to get the colostrum and we fed it to him from our finger tips.

For most babies the colostrum that their mom's produce in the first few day after birth is plenty for them, but Elliot was  getting dehydrated and on the verge of developing jaundice. For this reason the doctor suggested that we start supplementing with a bottle for each feeding with some donated breast milk since mine had not come in yet. We decided this was a great idea and it prevented the little man from developing jaundice. For the next several day before my milk came in I would pump every 2 hours, then we would feed him the colostrum and then give him a bottle of donated breast milk.

I think the fact that we had to introduce a bottle so early confused him and made it difficult for him to latch on so we had to begin nursing with the assistance of a nipple shield so that my breast feels more like a bottle to his mouth. Although I am not too fond of the nipple shield it is much easier than pumping and feeding him the bottle each time so I will take what I can get. All of the lactation consultants that I have met with  said its rare for a baby to require the nipple shield for the entire time they are nursing so I am hopeful that someday soon Elliot will be able to kick that habit.

Now that Elliot and I are in a good routine for nursing I am trying to build up a little bit of a freezer supply of breast milk so that if anything every happens and I need to be away from him for longer than planned he will still have breast milk to eat. It has been quite a challenge for me to build my supply. I try to pump after each feeding and when I do that two or three times I then get enough milk for one bottle feeding. Ted likes to give Elliot a bottle in the evenings so I can sleep, so I always try to pump at least one bottle per day. Finding the time to pump after each feeding is rather challenging to be honest, it leaves little time for resting between Elliot's feedings.

Although breastfeeding has been more of a challenge than I was expecting, I am determined to see it through. The most important thing to me is that my son gets my breast milk because it is the best nutrition for him. For any one who is pregnant or planning to get pregnant who is reading this my advice is learn as much about breastfeeding before the baby arrives as possible. I made that mistake thinking that it would all come naturally and unfortunately for us it didn't for me or Elliot.